Oct. 6, 2002
I've been thinking about the fact that we don't have 1) a public life, and 2) a private life. We have 1) a work life, 2) a public life, and 3) a private life.
My work life is documented in my resume. It's what I sell myself as. Fortunely my work life is a relatively narrow part of my whole life. But many well-known people have to deal with the fact that their work life creeps further and further into their public life- they have to present their whole life as something that will make you want to buy their product (e.g. movie stars and their expensive dresses and exclusive experiences).
Then there is my public life- this is what everyone knows about me, my life as it is seen in public on the street, at church, amongst my friends and acquaintances. I have to admit that I worry about becoming politically involved or becoming an activist about something I care about because it may affect my work life. I'm not well known, so my work life pretty much stays away for my public life; quite frankly, no one really cares. I try not to talk about things I care about at work. Almost no one knows about the blog.
And finally there is my private life. This is actually where I build the barrier, with the work life in my thoughts. Things I don't want to get to the work life, I don't let into the public life. But how am I making that choice?
I have to admit that I'm pretty cautious. And unnecessarily cautious. Most of my private material would have no negative impact on my employment and would probably have a positive effect on authentic relationships with my coworkers.
I'm also illogical. There are plenty of things that one to one hundred people, maybe even as many as three hundred people, know about me that I still consider to be private information. Once one person knows, it isn't private any more!
Another thing that makes me keep things private is the general level of privacy and secrecy in our society. You don't want to be "the one who..." You know, like Monica Lewenski is the "the one who sucked Clinton's dick." Well, lots and lots of women did that, but only a few are "the one who." So you don't want to be "the one who." I see a lot of very brave web sites and a lot of very brave and public people talking about things we humans generally keep secret (mental illness, sexual orientation, rape, religious fervor, etc.) and I wonder how they live life as "the one who."
But at the same time I want to be more authentic and I want to talk about things that are important. And most of those things are the "private" things. So I'm not quite sure what I'll be doing as this unfolds.
See also: This on Dive into Mark.