Stats  |  Links  | Photos  |  Narrative Stats Estimated times (my timing chip fell off after the swim, so I have no official times): Swim - 0:34:00 (750 meters) Transition 1 - ??? Bike - 1:31:00 (16 miles) Transition 2 - ??? Run - 0:45:00 (5K, 3.1 miles) Five minutes faster than my last triathlon. Total - 2:50:00 Weight: 258 lbs. (Eeek - 16 pounds MORE than my last triathlon!) Photos Awaiting official photos. Links Event website. Narrative Training.  Walking about 65 miles per week, plus one half-mile swim and one 13 mile bike per week.  Injured my knee two weeks before the event and took one week off of walking and biking.  I had been getting my weigh down over the beginning of the year, but for some reason I decided to put on thirteen pounds in the two weeks before the event.  Not helpful! Taper.  Didn't want to give up the opportunity to make miles for my Virtual Appalachian Trail, so walked on Monday and Wednesday.  On Tuesday took the opportunity for a last bike ride since I actually had not been on my bike for three weeks due to travel and the injury. Race prep.  As my weight gets around it's current point, it disrupts my hormone balance and I get very, very sick.  I spent the night before we were supposed to drive to the triathlon with a kind of full-body migraine (I don't know how else to describe it, and my doc says it is more neurological than anything), on my hands and knees in the bathroom quivering in pain and puking.  Was taking it light on the drugs because I didn't want to make it impossible to do the triathlon.  Finally kicked up the meds around 3AM and got to sleep.  Woke up with a drug hang-over and sore all over from the previous nights proceedings.  I actually signed up for this particular event because my friend MJ wanted to do it.  MJ had estimated the drive to the event at 3 hours, but then the morning of the drive realized it was really 4 hours.  Late before we started!!  MJ forgets her goggles and had to drive all the way back home.  I am in no mood for any of this.  Pick up me and we are on our way!  Fortunately for the continued peace, I FORGOT MY GOGGLES TOO!! So back to my house, now we're even more late, but I must have Starbucks!  Baby got her bottle, and NOW we're on our way. Made it to the race meeting with 20 minutes to spare.  BEAUTIFUL LOCATION!!!  The lake looks windy, might be good to come back here and sail some day.  Only about four hundred competitors.  I would prefer a larger event where there are more likely to be a few more people my speed. Breakfast, package of Sports Beans, Advil (read up on cautions about Advil before intense exercise- generally Tylenol is recommended instead.) Swim.  The swim is an equilateral triangle made up of giant yellow triangle buoys.  There's some wind mucking up the water, but I really felt like I had swimming under control.  The water was 71 degrees- perfect!  The elites finish their swim in 10 minutes (HOW do they DO that??!!) and are exiting the water as we are entering for our start. I feel like I'm struggling, but I know from my last triathlon that is okay.  They I feel like I'm dieing, and this seems a lot less okay!  I just couldn't get a breath no matter what.  Still, I struggled up to the first buoy in freestyle.  By the time I got to the buoy I was feeling very discouraged, but I looked at my watch and it was 10 minutes, right on time!! Still, I couldn't breath, so I flopped on my back and started with the backstroke.  There were a few distinct clouds, so I set up on the buoy and then sighted on the clouds.  But I was so miserable.  When I re-sighted on the buoy I just sort of sat there in the water for a few seconds.  I did that a couple of times until gave myself a talking to that all that was doing was pro-longing the misery.  At this point I had acquired my own personal rescue kayaker, a sweet-faced blonde lady who kept on with the encouraging words.  It felt so hopeless, but I really was making progress toward the buoy, so I kept going. Turned the buoy and the shore was so far away, I still could not get a deep breath and was really struggling with breathing- why??!! too out of shape for the swim?  asthma attack?? I couldn't get why I was having such a hard time breathing.  My goggles fogged up (fancy anti-fogging goggles that have NEVER fogged up before) and swimming this direction the sun was in my eyes so I couldn't sight on the clouds any more and my eyes were burning badly from the sun. Grabbed the kayak to mess with the goggles, but it wasn't much of a rest because I still had to struggle to stay oriented with the kayak.  The shore was still really far away and I didn't just want to quit, I wanted to cry.  I wanted my Mommy; I wanted a hug.  Not my actual Mommy, this kayak Mommy would do.  Because then I heard from my actual Mommy- from the great beyond I heard: Swim to that shore or I'll kick your ass! Which is exactly what she would have said if she were here.  I could swim to shore.  It was very miserable and it might take a while, but I could do that.  And THEN I would quit.  Just as I was thinking that, my kayak angel said: You are going to have so much fun on the bike! And I thought, "You know, I am going to have fun on the bike!"  As we neared shore there was a man at the end of the boat ramp shouting, "Just swim toward me!"  Made it to him and started walking up the boat ramp and I still couldn't breath!  And THEN- four ENORMOUS belches.  I could actually feel my chest wall move back into a normal position.  I had swallowed so much air that I didn't have any room left for breathing!  Immediately I could get a deep breath and felt better and started running up to the transition pen. Transition One.  I heard the announcer say my name and the crowd cheering as I ran through the gate to the transition pen.  I was last, and the first elite had not returned from the bike yet.  I'm not sure how to describe the surreal appearance of the completely empty transition pen-- yards of completely empty bike racks-- with my one bike was off on that rack over there, and a few hundred fans with nothing to do but stare at me do my transition.  Normally, I put on my socks, but I didn't.  I just wanted out of there!  Great motivation for an efficient transition!! Bike.  Away on the bike and I can breath!  I feel great!!  Eating my caffeine sports beans and peddling hard with a heart rate of 172 as the elites come flying by the opposite direction.  They're pretty serious, but about 20 bikes into them someone yells something encouraging.  My last triathlon I had held back a bit on the bike because I just have no experience with what I can do tired.  Now I know I can recover, so I'm going hard (for me).  Make the first turn and there's a huge crowd of buzzards on the road.  It just seems about right for me to encounter buzzards at this point, but I pass by them and the countryside is beautiful and the turn-point cops and volunteers are still out (though they're closing down after I pass... because I'm last!).  Volunteers in trucks pass by me every little bit- I think they're keeping an eye on me. And here's the problem- I was in such horrible shape in the water that I forgot to pee when I was exiting the water.  So I'm looking for some good bushes.  Finally I find what will have to do and lay down my bike.  I can strip because it would be a task in my triathlon unitard, and I'm in sight of the road really.  AND the volunteer in the truck spies my bike and stops to make sure I'm okay.  I tried to pull one leg of the unitard over, but it does not work and I just pee all over me.  So I come out from behind the bush, soaked from the waist down and rivulets of liquid running down my leg saying, "Just had to pee on myself."  And she says: You look great! I don't know what looks great about being soaked in my own pee!  I guess the only thing worse would be getting soaked in someone else's pee.  So I bike, bike, bike and I'm really motivated to go fast enough that the wind will dry me off before I get back to transition.  I feel kinda hard core because I just peed on myself rather than quit, and I feel kinda worried about how I smell.  I wipe the back of my hand on my leg and sniff.  Ummm... I don't think anyone will notice. Transition Two.  The transition area is full of people who have finished. So I get some anonymity this time.  The announcer does announce my exit, but there are people finishing to get the attention.  I found my timing chip on the ground-- apparently it had fallen off when I was getting set to bike before-- and put it back on.  I forgot to put on my running number- later I find it under my towel. Run.  The run route is full of top competitors running the loop a second time for exercise, now that they've finished the race.  Also a few folks on bikes that were there with competitors.  Lots of encouragement; people ask my name and promise to cheer for me at the finish.  The explorer scouts (co-ed, who knew) are staffing the water stations, which are still out.  From the finish times, I am 30 minutes behind the second-to-last person, so this is really nice.  All I wanted was to be allowed to finish which, it was a public road, I could finish even if they shut down the event.  But they were completely friendly and encouraging. Meanwhile, MJ who had finished a few minutes before I started my run was packing up her car.  She was talking to the people parked next to her, saying that she was waiting for her friend who was still out running. Just as she said that, some of these extra-running-runners walked by and said, "Oh, M---?  She's almost back."  I'm famous, LOL!! Oh, and I was running.  I haven't been running in training at all because it feels unwise at this weight, but I ran out of transition because I didn't want to walk in front of the cheering crowd, and then once I started running there was no reason to stop so I ran the entire route. At the final water station, I picked up an entourage of explorer scouts who ran almost to the finish line with me.  They stopped as we turned into view of the finish line, and I ran in to an enthusiastic announcer and a cheering crowd that was very focused on the last-place finisher. Rock-star!  So, now that I was famous, I got a lot of hand-shakes and back-slaps.  And by a lot I mean a lot.  One of the explorer scouts wanted a picture- of course I agreed, I'm very good to my fans, LOL!  They had run out of finisher t-shirts so I wasn't going to get one, but a guy said that I really needed one and gave me the shirt off his back!!