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Caroline "Carrie" DUNHAM1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
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Born 03 August 1831 in Hebron, Maine1 to Catherine BRETT and Rev. Benjamin DUNHAM, both of whom had died before Caroline turned 12. Married Johann Heinrich Hermann KRÜSI 26 November 1856 in Somerville, Massachusetts, USA1. Died 31 October 1902 in Alameda, California, USA.1
Chapter VII from her husband's book, Recollections of My Life
*Great-great-grandmother of the Cactus.
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"A Tribute to the Memory of My Dear Wife"2 (Chapter VII) |
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In the first days after a painful bereavement, such as the above, our thoughts are almost exclusively occupied with one object, i.e., the fate of the faithful companion with whom we have been united for nearly fifty years, whose whole life we pass in review, but not before the pang caused by her last sickness and death has gradually lost its sting. For this reason I will give, as concisely as I can, the principal episodes in the life of my departed wife, to be followed by a sketch of her character, her activity in various situations of life. Caroline W. Dunham was born in Maine, in the neighborhood of Bethel, where her father, a Baptist clergyman, preached to a small congregation. As both her father and mother died at an early age and before I knew my wife, I can say but little about them or about their daughter's early education, except that she was expected at an early age to take care of her younger brother and sister, whilst she received a good home education, and later partook of the instruction given at the Bethel Academy by Dr. True. There she took an interest in some branches of study, which she continued afterwards at the Lancaster Normal College. Like hundreds of young people of both sexes in the rural districts, she had to earn the means for living and for education by the work of her hands, which she did in the manufacturing town of Clinton, Mass. --and in the neighboring place of Lancaster. There she made the acquaintance of many pupils and their teachers. To the latter I belonged, myself, who had but lately come from Switzerland (in 1853). ------ At the time of our coming to California she had scarcely recovered from a severe sickness, the effects of which she felt for the remainder of her life. However, I consider it a great blessing that I was permitted, during the three years of her declining health, to be in close communion with her in the limited, and yet in some respects convenient quarters, we occupied in Mrs. Schröder's house. These she left but rarely, owing to her growing infirmities, stiffness, and occasional pains in her limbs. Her condition was aggravated at the beginning of the year by a stroke of paralysis, which, although she partly recovered from it, was followed in the summer of the year by other strokes, which so enfeebled and disabled her as to necessitate the assistance of an efficient nurse-- at the home of our daughter-in-law, to which we had been kindly invited in order that she might receive all possible care and comfort among loving relatives. She breathed her last on the evening of the 31st Oct., 1902, mourned and regretted by all who knew her, and loved and respected for her noble and self-sacrificing life, devoted to duty and to the welfare of her friends.
PRINCIPAL TRAITS IN THE CHARACTER OF THE DEPARTED MOTHER, WIFE, AND FRIEND Among those we name as the most prominent her sterling honesty and love of truth; hence absence of flattery, and faithful adherence to any idea which appealed to her conviction, pursuing her aim with a strong will and tireless persistence, aided in all her doings by great practical skill and sound common sense. Hence it may be said that she would probably have been successful in all her undertakings besides those which Providence and attending circumstances provided for her, and in which she so honourably aquitted herself. 1. As wife and mother.-- In both these vocations she acted with the utmost conscientiousness, giving an example of system, order, cleanliness, in spite of the amount of work which fel to her share, sometimes without the help of a servant. To be able to do this, she had to view with some strictness the conduct of the other members of the house, who might have thought her too particular in small matters. On this subject, in a letter written soon after marriage, she expresses herself in a manner calculated to disarm all resistance: "....I do not speak of these things in a fault-finding spirit, but because I know that you are soon to enter into public life. Perhaps it is pride, for I am just as anxious for you to excel, as if it were myself, for you are a great part of myself. It is perhaps my misfortune, that the more I love, the more I notice, and feel anxious that little defects may be corrected. Errors of the head I am commit, but..." In the physical education of her children she was guided by sound sanitary principles, and their moral culture was fostered by that rational treatment which does not consider gratification of all the child's capricious demands as manifestations of true love, nor harsh treatment the best means for preventing wicked thoughts and actions --but which insists that a thing which has been ordered for the child's good shall be duly performed, until he is himself convinced of its beneficial effect. 2. As a teacher.-- Although she never formally acted in the capacity of an appointed teacher, except once in her sixteenth year in a village school of Maine, she did a great deal of voluntary teaching with her children as well as with young people, who were inmates of our house. This instruction --generally given in the evening in one of her free hours-- was calculated to promote their intellectual as well as their moral growth, and will be gratefully remembered by those who were benefited by her truly maternal care for their welfare. Mr. Sheldon, in his address delivered on the occasion of my eightieth birthday, recognized her services rendered to many members of the Normal School, by giving her specific thanks for her unselfish and efficient work in that direction. Besides keeping herself posted on the progress of science and civilization, she profited much by the experience made on some large journeys and excursions, of which we name especially the trip to and from Europe, twice performed (in 1865 and 1888) the overland trip to California also twice performed (in 1886 and 1899), and a very interesting one to the Saguenay [St. Lawrence River area of Canada], all of which tended to enlarge her knowledge through the contemplation and study of the wonders of Nature and of Art. 3. As a manager.-- I believe that all those who had occasion to witness my wife's indefatigable energy, and her practical skill even in matters generally supposed to be outside of a women's domain, as for instance in regard to building operations, will agree with me, that it did not require much persuasion to confide to her the supervision and direction of matters connected with the house, a supervision which extended to the smallest details. But in spite of her wish to economize her resources as much as possible, she did not sacrifice taste to mere utility and cheapness, and her plans or designs suggested for this purpose sometimes excited the admiration of expert workmen. This sentiment was active even in the last year of her life, when she made a plan for a tasteful monument for herself and her husband to be placed in the Riverside Cemetery of Oswego, near the graves of our two early-departed daughters. In spite of her enterprising spirit, she did not unnecessarily encroach upon the income of her husband. On the contrary, her love of independence in financial matters was such, that at one time she raised our house at her own expense --i.e., from the receipts obtained through renting rooms, etc. She also defrayed the expense for the second trip to Europe by the translation of an English reading-book into German, and by acting as my substitute in teaching German at the Normal School after my resignation. In the last three years of her life, during a long period of partial and complete helplessness, her won resources, mostly earned by her long and faithful service at home and with her old aunt, where sufficient to defray the rather heavy expenses for doctors, sanitarium, nursing, etc. 4. As a Christian.-- We use this term not in a confessional sense, by which many so-called orthodox believers seem to assign to oral confession, formal prayer, the reading of long passages of the Bible, etc., the test for recognizing a Christian. To this kind of Christianity my wife never made any claim, and abstained from parading it, presenting instead a true spirit of love and of kind, charitable action. We do not refer particularly to that kind of charity, which is prone to give alms and temporary aid, but rather the earnest endeavour to strengthen and elevate the soul for a higher vocation. Who will deny that the dear departed has done this to the full extent, by helping young aspiring souls in their studies, not only by teaching and good advice, but by furnishing occasionally --with her limited income-- the means by which to accomplish their object. There are many who will bless her for her noble, self-sacrificing work in this direction. The exercise of much patience, far from rendering her austere or severe in criticism, did not prevent her from giving to the young people a wholesome recreation by appropriate plays, etc. In the fulness of her strength she delighted in games, such as chess-- which taxes the ingenuity and power of combination of the participants, and in which she was often the winner. These were afterwards abandoned and she was satisfied to be merry with the merry ones, and to share the delight of the children and others in the receipt of their Christmas presents and on other occasions. The occupations which fell to her share in later years --more especially during her somewhat lonely and monotonous life in Minot, with her aunt-- gave her mind a serious turn; and still more the infirmities of her body, which after our moving to Alameda began to impede her movements, and ended at last in total paralysis and physical and mental prostration, pointing to rapid dissolution. I have no doubt that she was prepared for death, and had no reason to fear it, in the consciousness of having done her duty in this life and leaving to a wise and benign Providence the disposition to be made in a continued existence, with spiritual bodies expanding into new activity, cheered and animated by eternal Love.
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Sources |
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1. Mother of loafingcactus, personal knowledge and research. 2. Herman Krusi, ed. Elizabeth Sheldon Alling, Recollections of My Life, The Granfton Press: New York, 1907 3. "Supplement to Torrey's New England Marriage Prior to 1700" as cited here. 4. Oswego, New York Directories, 1888, 1890-93, Ancestry.com. "Year: 1890, 1891 142 W. Eighth" 5. United States Census, 1850, Old Town, Penoboscot County, Maine. 6. United States Census, 1860 7. United States Census, 1870 |
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