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Skitters and Sneakers entered my stewardship as young kittens on July 15, 1996.
(Skitters on left, Sneakers on right. About 6 months old.) Sneakers returned to the direct stewardship of his creator on June 20, 2003 after 7 years of mortality.Taking StewardshipSkitters and Sneakers came to me from the Animal Protection Society of Durham. I had gone to the shelter looking for a dog, and ended up losing my heart to two little orange kittens. I already had two orange cats at home. They were very, very sick, and after calling my veterinarian (Bowman Animal Hospital in Raleigh, North Carolina) to confirm that we would partner in their care, I was allowed to take them home on July 15, 1996. The next day was my twenty-first birthday. My husband had packed up his belongings and left for California a few weeks earlier. The world was a scary and uncertain place. Because of their illnesses, Skitters and Sneakers had to be kept apart from my other cats. I had separate clothes to wear when I was around them so that I would not accidentally transfer germs back to my other cats. Even though they were sick, they still got into a lot of trouble. Hurricane Fran came that fall. The kittens had been kept in the bathroom that night, and the locked the door. In the middle of all that destruction, I had to figure out a way to get them out. Just before I was about to take an ax to the door, a friend from church who was in the construction business came out and used his tricks to get the door open. Eventually we moved to a new home. Every day when I come home from work I hear a heard of cats trampling for the front door. When I open the door and flip on the lights, there are four bleary-eyed cats with messed-up fur welcoming me home. Later we accepted another man into our lives and he and the cats formed a bit of a truce where they get part of the house and he gets part of the house and they don’t bother each other very much. Sneakers had occasional seizers. While this is an illness often seen in dogs, it is uncommon in cats. Sneakers may have developed the problem from a brain infection during his illnesses as a kitten. CancerIn November 2002 I discovered a small lump on Sneakers rear right leg. Several visits to the vet and the N.C. Vet School confirmed a fibrous sarcoma- an aggressive cancer that about 1 in 10,000 to 30,000 (the number is uncertain) cats get in reaction to their vaccinations. Treatment was extreme and expensive, and would likely only extend Sneakers life by a year or two. I decided against treatment and took my cat home. Actually, it wasn’t that simple. The vet did a biopsy, and then the vet school did a second biopsy and an MRI and put together a surgery plan. The surgery was very radical and not very realistic, but perhaps if the tumor could be shrunk through chemotherapy a more realistic option would come up. I actually did one round of chemotherapy. I couldn’t afford it, but I wasn’t thinking right and I felt really guilty about the choices I was being forced to make. After the first round, I realized that I really could afford it and also that I didn’t believe in putting the cat through that process. I had always been taught that one ought not do intensive interventions with animals, because animals are not able to assign meaning to the suffering involved. I just forgot that a little bit while I was confused. After those first few confusing weeks, I became comfortable with my decision. My religion (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) teaches me that a person has a right to spiritual guidance in all matters of their stewardship. God is ultimately responsible for his creation, and meanwhile we have been entrusted with some of his sacred responsibilities. A leader of our church stated, “Each of us has a right to revelation as far as it relates to our area of responsibility.” I was worried about how I would know that it was time to end my cat’s life, but I tried to hold to my faith that something about his suffering and my stewardship would let me know when it was the right time. Each day I examined the tumor carefully so that I would know all about it and, more importantly, I would know about Sneaker’s reaction to it. There were several things that could go wrong at the end. The tumor could press on a nerve that would make it painful for him to walk. The tumor could block his bowels. Most distressingly, the fast-growing tumor could cause the skin to burst open. I wanted to make sure that Sneaker’s didn’t experience any extreme suffering. I hoped that it would be very clear to me when it was time. The Last Few DaysI stayed home sick on Thursday, June 18th. My cats and I spent the day together on my bed. Sneaker’s had a world-weary look in his eyes. Some bit of his joy for life was gone. There was no extreme change. He limped a little, and he lay with his leg stretched up beside him to relieve the pressure of the tumor on the skin, but he had been doing that for a couple of months. I found an impossibly tight section of skin, but it didn’t seem to be causing him any new pain. Yet I knew it was time. I am very grateful that my right to guidance in my stewardship responsibility came through. I have no regrets about the timing I chose. Friday I went to work for the day and I made an appointment with my vet for Saturday afternoon. Even though I knew what was coming, I didn’t feel very upset. Saturday I spent several hours with my cats in the early morning, and then went out to a speech. I spent mid-day with the cats, and that was when the fact that this was the last time we would all be together in this life really struck me. I cried with them until it was time to go. It is an hour drive from my house to the vet, and Sneakers slept quietly in his carrier. He always looks so cute sleeping in his carrier. I can open the door and stroke his feet, which he stretches out in front of him. I cried off and on. I thought about whether this was really what I wanted to do and whether I wanted to change my mind. If I changed my mind, I would just be doing this again in a couple of weeks when the cat was worse off. When I got to the vet I pet him for a second and was really upset. I felt like it was my last time to have a calm second with him. When I walked into the vet’s I couldn’t talk. The receptionist stood up and had a stricken look on her face, which was exactly appropriate and I was glad not to be alone in my grief. She took me immediately into a room. I had said over the phone earlier that I wanted to spend about 15 minutes with my cat. I pet him and he walked around. I was even in their long enough that the mood passed through him to let me hold him for a little bit. I had to be careful when I held him not to hold his leg and cause pressure on the tumor. The vet came in and gave him a shot of a sedative. I understand that the method can also be to give the lethal shot immediately. This step of the sedative was extremely important to me because it gave a lot of time for the death to occur for me. He slowly fell asleep over about 15 minutes with his head in my hands. I had plenty of time to absorb the experience of being with my cat and being ready for the death. The vet came back and asked me if I was ready for the final shot. She and the vet tech and I all pet Sneakers while she listened to his heart. After a short amount of time she told me that he had died. At that point I felt very calm. Everything was over, and I had had plenty of time to absorb the experience. I got up and left. I had stated ahead of time that I wanted to leave immediately. The vet tech wrapped Sneakers in a towel and took him out of the room. The vet took care of arranging the cremation. While I was at the vets I had a book of urns to look at, but I was really too upset to understand the pricing or make a choice. Besides, I didn’t want to spend the last moments of my cat’s life distracted by this choice. MourningWhen I drove away I was very upset and crying a lot. I had some chores I wanted to do and I thought that I may be able to calm down if I had something to do. On the other hand, I also thought that I may feel calmer if I got home and saw that I still had three healthy cats. Distraction worked; seeing my other cats didn’t. Every time I see them, it is immediately apparent that one is missing. I’ve kept busy with activities and work. Whenever my mind wanders I think about my cat and start crying. I didn’t take lunch breaks at work. I stayed busy until late at night so I could go to sleep immediately when I went to bed. The vet gave me a copy of the booklet, A Final Act of Caring: Ending the Life of an Animal Friend by Mary and Herb Montgomery. These authors have written several books on death and mourning humans and animals, including a book on animal death especially for children. I had already been through most of the steps discussed in this book, nonetheless it was comforting to read about people going through the same things I had gone through. On the topic of mourning, Elder Russell M. Nelson said, “Irrespective of age, we mourn for those loved and lost. Mourning is one of the deepest expressions of pure love. It is a natural response in complete accord with divine commandment: ‘Though shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die.’” (D&C 42:45) He went on to say, “Moreover, we can’t fully appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now. The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.” The President Harold B. Lee, said in a 1973 Easter message, “Think of that day, you who mourn the death of loved ones. The graves of your loved ones will be opened and their bodies will likewise come forth and walk into the land of the living and will appear unto may.” Urn and MementosBuying an urn from the cremation company via the vet didn’t work out. I ended up buying an urn from discounturns.com (see the urn here). If I had it to do over again, I would have purchased the urn as soon as the cat got sick. In my mourning, it became extremely important to me to have the matter settled and trying to take care of it after the cat died was too stressful. I’ll be buying urns for my other cats ahead of time, and if I ever have any other funeral need I will try to take care of it ahead of time. I was worried that I might think that it was a waste of money to buy the urn. How long will I remember this cat? Will I really want to have this urn around for the rest of my life? But it was a huge relief to transfer his remains to a container the fit the dignity of my relationship with Sneakers. My religion teaches the resurrection of humans and of animals, and the perfection of all things at the time of the resurrection. I can imagine this container keeping Sneakers until that day. The vet had told me she would do a paw print and I had thought an ink print. But actually it was a print in clay, and the vet’s office had scratched his name into the clay. So that was really nice. They also put the “Rainbow Bridge” poem in a frame with a bit of his hair stuck onto it was a little bow. So that is very nice, too. Some Fond MemoriesSneakers had several names through his life- “Smelly” most of the time, and “Lumpy” at the end. One has to wonder what will happen with cat names, since they usually have so many. Well, in the end, he became “Sneakers” again. The other names were jokes for during his life; in his death he has his dignified name again. Sneakers usually slept on my bed next to my pillow. In the middle of night I would reach out my hand and he would always be there. Sometimes he would fall asleep with his head on my arm or my hand. Sneakers wasn’t a playful cat, and a lot of times I thought he was boring compared to my other cats, but he was the most gentle of my cats. He’d lay and stare in my eyes, or sleep close to me for a long time. When he walked he held his tail strait up in the air, and the tip would quiver if for some reason he was emotional. More Religious InformationThe April 1999 children’s Friend magazine has a wonderful story explaining the death of a pet and the power of the resurrection. It tells of a young boy coping with the death of a dog, as his grandfather explains death and the resurrection.
The August 1972 Ensign includes an article on “The Gospel and Animals.” The article explains the doctrine of resurrection of animals, as found in Doctrine and Covenants Article 77 and in the words of the Prophets, and also the moral responsibility for animals. There are several stories of President Joseph Smith rescuing snakes and his associates subsequently refusing to harm snakes. President Brigham Young said that a person who did not care for his animals “lay himself liable to censure in the eyes of justice” (Journal of Discourses, vol. 11, p. 141). George Q. Cannon, counselor to Brigham Young, wrote a series of articles about the human treatment of animals and created a Sunday School “Humane Day” which was recognized in the church from 1897 until about 1917. Following his baptism, President Lorenzo Snow refused to participate in hunting. President Joseph F. Smith wrote, “ Kindness to the whole animal creation and especially to all domestic animals is not only a virtue that should be developed, but is the absolute duty of mankind…” (Juvenile Instructor, February 1912) President David O. McKay said, “a true Latter-day Saint is kind to animals, is kind to every created thing, for God created all.”
The New Era tenth anniversary edition reprinted an article by the scholar Hugh Nibley on “Man’s Dominion. My comments here are going to be a little vague, because the internet version of the article doesn’t show the footnotes. Nibley quotes an ancient text where God tells Adam, “If you fail in your duty, the beasts over which you ruled shall rise up against you, for you have not kept my commandment.” Nibley tells of an ancient vision where God stated, “I love my creatures far more than you ever could!” He writes of a version of thought where the earth was created for the sake of the creatures upon it, and man his responsible for supervising this project for God. Adam and Noah were tenders of animals. Doctrine and Covenents Article 104, verse 13 states, “I the Lord… make ever man accountable, as a steward over earthly blessings, which I have made and prepared for my creatures.” LinksSome other cats who have died of fibrous sarcoma: http://www.storyhouse.org/kim.html http://www.csr.uvic.ca/~evemden/personal/oliver.html Poem about pet euthanasia: http://www.netpoets.com/poems/sad/0406014.htm Poems about pet loss: http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm Pet loss and pet euthanasia information: |
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